this song is looking for a singer…
SHE’S MY E-MAIL FEMALE
Words & Music © John Morton 1997.
She’s my
E-Mail
Female—
From her head to her feet,
She’s too good to delete,
Complete
In every detail.
She’s my
E-Mail
Female—
She’s apparently real,
And she’s making me feel
Just what it is
To be male.
(Rpt.)
If you surf the net,
Then you won’t forget
She’s the mermaid all the sailors,
To a man, go for—
And even overboard,
But, like a ghost, you’ll never nail her.
Like a pure mirage
You might see sur la plage,
Or a straw to a drowning man,
She’s rarely seen
On any monitor screen,
But when she is, you’re gonna understand why—
She’s my, (etc…)
Up until she arrived,
I had a terrible life—
A walking history of bad heartbreaks.
It took a wall of pin-ups
To keep my chin up
When the pressure got to much to take,
But when the boss came round,
I took my calendars down
(To keep the office paper-free)—
Oh well, for heaven’s sake,
What sort of woman would take
A second look at a dweeb like me?
She’s my, (etc…)
She’s as near to me
As U.S. to G.B.,
But I can hear her as clear as a bell;
She comes and she goes,
Though the windows are closed,
Still I can hear her like the sea in a shell.
You can press your ‘F’,
But don’t hold your breath,
’Cause if you blink, you’re gonna miss
her;
She may be near to here,
But if she does appear,
You needn’t think you’re gonna get to kiss her—
She’s my, (etc…)
When you work too long
And you work too hard,
You might at least expect some reward
For the two square eyes
And the tendonitis
That you catch sat at your keyboard.
Well now here she comes—
I’m all fingers and thumbs,
Underpaid and oversexed—
But if there’s no-one else there,
Well, who’s to care
If I’m politically incorrect?
She’s my, (etc…)
(Rpt.)
She’s my
E-Mail
Female—
From her nose to her toes,
Got to have one of those—
The original,
All-digital
E-Mail
Female—
She’ll appear in the blip
Of a silicon chip—
The incredible,
Unshreddable
E-Mail
Female—
If you want her that much,
You can look but don’t touch—
The unfazable,
And unerasable
E-Mail
Female—
Everybody’s agreed,
She’s all the woman I need—
The upgradable,
But unobtainable—
E-Mail
Female—
From her head to her feet, (etc…)
She’s my, (etc…)
